Karly's friends at school didn't know she had autism. The reason why was actually quite common (2024)

Netflix family drama (and sometimes comedy) Atypical follows Sam Gardner, an 18-year-old boy who has autism.

But rather than being a show about autism, Atypical is about Sam and his family: his protective sister Casey, helicopter mum Elsa and 'doing-the-best-he-can' dad Doug.

TV critics have praised the series as "perfection" and "relatable". Other's have called it "warm-hearted" but "inconsistent".

But just how relatable is it?

There's a commonly used phrase when talking about autism spectrum disorder (ASD): If you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism.

That's because no two people are alike, so it's little wonder that while some aspects of Sam — played by non-autistic actor Keir Gilchrist — strike a chord with some, others just can't relate.

Melbourne teenager Karly Browne has high-functioning autism and attention deficit disorder (ADD). Like Sam, she's 18 years old and has recently finished high school.

What does she think of the show?

"Even through its glaring mishaps, it's nice to have someone who has ASD that's not the brunt of every joke."

What are the 'glaring mishaps'?

While Karly shares Sam's need for order, she found some scenes unrealistic.

Like in season three when Sam is late for his first college class because he lost track of the time during his break.

In another scene, Sam wakes up late because he drained his phone battery watching videos in bed.

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This scenario is something Karly said would never happen to her.

"I could be late, but it's never because I'm late. It [has to be] something out of my control," she said.

"I have 20 alarms in the morning grouped into different sounds so that I know exactly what time it is."

Fixation on specific things was spot-on

Karly said Sam's fixation on certain things was a constant struggle she had.

In season three, Sam becomes obsessed with the statistic that "four out of five autistic students don't graduate college within four years".

He is consumed by the idea that he will become that statistic — and his narrow focus was something Karly related to.

Karly likened it to when her class studied philosophy — she became all-consumed by Plato's allegory of the cave and concepts of moral relativism, absolutism and nihilism.

"I loved it, but I just, you know, lost sleep over it because I was just so overstimulated."

But Atypical doesn't portray autism for women and girls

Crucially, Karly said her interactions were different from Sam's because she is able to "mask" certain behaviours.

Masking (or camouflaging) describes certain behaviours people with autism adopt to try and fit in with those around them.

Emma Gallagher, a researcher from Autism Spectrum Australia who also has autism, said women and girls have a higher tendency to do this compared with men and boys.

"We're usually much better at it because of the way that we're socialised as children," she explained.

Then there's the mental exhaustion

While it wasn't a secret, most of Karly's high school friends didn't know she had autism.

As a result, she said she felt a constant pressure to change her behaviours.

Some of those behaviours would include things like becoming agitated when different food groups touch on her plate, being very sound-sensitive to white noise, or having an inexplicable repulsion at even the thought of touching a banana.

"I don't want to be caught out. I don't want people to find out that I'm autistic. It's not that it's something that I want to hide but it's one of those things — like, how do you even bring that up?"

But masking takes a toll.

"I feel like it's exhausting," Karly said. "I come home and I'm just emotionally exhausted."

Emma said this is called "autistic burnout" — the exhaustion that comes with masking and managing sensory sensitivities.

"It takes a very heavy mental toll, because you're constantly in your brain processing 'OK, how am I supposed to react to this', instead of just reacting.

"You actually have to think about 'how's my facial expression going to look? What does my vocal tone need to be? What should I be doing with my hands?'.

"You get to the end of the day and you are absolutely exhausted."

At the core of it, Karly doesn't think Atypical really tackles how isolating it can be to have autism.

"ASD is such a spectrum in itself and sometimes I find it hard to identify with other people," she said.

"There's probably like one or two people that I've ever met that have been at my level of severity — although even our experiences are same, same but different."

From a mother's perspective, Atypical is a familiar story

Melbourne mum Sue (who didn't want us to use her surname) is a full-time carer to her severely autistic 15-year-old daughter Georgia.

Georgia has ataxic cerebral palsy and epilepsy. She uses a wheelchair and a speech output device to communicate.

While Atypical isn't a true representation of her family, 51-year-old Sue still loves the show — especially the portrayal of Sam's mum Elsa.

"There's a scene … where she's got on the whiteboard all of the appointments and therapy things for Sam and that really resonated with me because I know that's what my life is like."

Sue's husband is hands-on with Georgia, but he works. Sue doesn't get as much social interaction and her role as carer has kind of become her identity.

"[In the show] When Sam goes off to college … he's a little bit more independent and she's sort of lost. She's gone through all of those years of therapy and helping him and advocating for him and then she's suddenly lost as a person. I can relate to that," she said.

Atypical aside, Sue said the US series Speechless — starring Minnie Driver and Micah Fowler, an actor with cerebral palsy — was far more representative of her life.

For others, devoted parents are the ideal, not the norm

Karly thinks the family dynamic in Atypical is one "that people wish for" but not one that everyone gets.

"My mum works. My mum is busy, her life doesn't revolve around me. She has other purposes," Karly said.

"I get that's [Elsa's role] part of the show, but in real life, I don't think that would happen very often."