What do we get wrong about the Golden Rule? - Headspace (2024)

FAQs

What do we get wrong about the Golden Rule? - Headspace? ›

"It also helps you distinguish between the similarities and differences between your and other people's situations." She says "doing unto others as you would have them do unto you" assumes that people's experiences are alike—but that is simply not true.

One, it fails to explain how to deal with non-reciprocation. Two, it fails to make clear that my obligations are obligations regardless of how I would wish to be treated by others. Three, it lacks any special value in explaining the right occasions for benevolence. And, four, it has no power to motivate benevolence.

And hot on its heels, another common criticism of the Golden Rule is that it does not say in what specific ways any given person should act, nor does it explain why some action is morally correct or incorrect.

Moreover, under the golden rule, both victimization and self-victimization seems endless, promoting further abuse in those who have a propensity for it. No matter how much someone takes advantage of us, we are to keep treating them well. Here the golden rule seems simply unresponsive.

The golden rule does have a flaw in it. It would be silly to think that in this world, we are truly aware of each others intentions. Therefore, it would also be silly to assume that everyone wishes to be treated in a delighful manner.

At best the Golden Rule is a paradox: “We should all compromise so no one has to compromise.” As such it's perhaps a useful way to frame a moral dilemma but it's neither golden nor a rule. Dilemmas masquerading as principles are a big part of the problem with how humans handle conflict.

Everything DiSC^® reminds us that relying on the Golden Rule won't always get the results we want. What motivates you might not motivate me. Treat others how you would want to be treated, or treat others how they want to be treated? Managers, leaders, and team members can benefit from learning about the needs of others.

The golden rule is restricted in its use as it can be used only when the literal rule leads to ambiguities in interpretation. Its use thus becomes limited and rare. It is unpredictable and lacks guidelines. One of the main disadvantages of the rule is that judges can twist the meaning of the words and change the law.

This belief appears in some form across many religions and philosophies, and it has been included as a fundamental moral value of some governments and the basis for many laws. The actual term “Golden Rule" or “Golden Law" has been used since the late 17^th century.

The Humanistic Perspective

The moral principle known as the Golden Rule has analogues in psychology, economics, environmental sciences, and legal systems. The fundamental ethical axis of humanist thinking is the challenge to treat others as we would like to be treated by them.

Is the Golden Rule selfish? ›

“Do unto others…”

The Golden Rule is used as a tool to direct the behavior of people towards an end that we assume is positive – if you want to be treated well, you should treat others well. But if we dig a bit deeper, we find that the Golden Rule is really selfish and not selfless. It is about ourselves.

The golden rule is very limited in its use as it is only used when the literal rule leads to absurdities and, therefore, it is only used on rare occasions.

It is essentially the inverse of the Golden Rule (which I will get to next.) Basically, we shouldn't do to anyone what we wouldn't want done to us. To use the Silver Rule, we must consider whether we are doing something that we would not want done to us.

While the Golden Rule encourages individuals to treat others as they would like to be treated themselves, the Platinum Rule recognizes the importance of individual differences and enables people to adapt their behavior to meet the unique needs and preferences of others.

Instead of imposing a single framework, the Platinum Rule adapts to the needs of each individual, creating a more nuanced, respectful, and effective interaction. Enter the "Platinum Rule"—treat others how they wish to be treated. Here are three compelling reasons why this principle trumps its golden predecessor.